I didn’t think Kirby had sensory issues, but apparently he does according to EI and I’m beginning to see it more. His gag reflex, not wanting to pick up food, and even walking on the toes is associated with sensory problems. He doesn’t have issues with sounds, light or touch, other than he prefers heavy touch and rough play. I don’t know if gross motor skill delay is considered a sensory integration issue. Kirby’s gross motor skills are on target so we haven’t really had to deal with that, but he has some serious fine motor skill problems and the specialist didn’t say that was a sensory thing. He didn’t say it wasn’t a sensory thing, but he did point out the other sensory problems Kirby has so I assume he would have mentioned it.

I’m not concerned about how obvious it is to other people. I’m concerned about how I will feel because I will notice the differences. I know that to other people he may not seem that different – he doesn’t physically look different – but when everyone is paying attention to their own kid it may be hard to tell and unless you really watch him for a couple of minutes you may not see any differences. He walks and runs and plays with toys but watch his hands for a minute, watch him try to pick something up and you’ll see it. Watch him interact with me and you’ll see it. Watch him interact with other kids and you’ll see it. Watch me try to feed him and you’ll see it. No one else can see everything that I do because I know him so well. And like I’ve said before, in Ohio he wasn’t really that far behind yet. But the gap is widening, he’s learning at a slower rate than most kids so the older he’s getting the more apparent the differences are.

Our families doubted us for a while but as time goes by even they realize there’s something there. My SIL though keeps hassling me and questioning me about what I think and it’s bugging the living SHIT out of me. She says that he doesn’t seem different and that he’s just fine. Thank you very much for invalidating my feelings! We’re way beyond that point though. Telling me he seems fine is irritating! We know he’s not fine. The doctors and specialists know he’s not fine. I wish other could accept that and stop trying to convice us otherwise. I’d rather have the support, especially from family, to help us through the therapy, the evalutations, etc. not tell us that we’re wrong. Ok, sorry, I guess that turned into a vent.