I was re-reading The Attachment Parenting book the other day and toward the very beginning there was a paragraph that absolutely described how I feel with the kids, but now I’m realizing it’s stronger with Monkey:
| Attachment is a special bond between parent and child, a feeling that draws you magnetlike to your baby. For a mother, it begins with the sense that baby ispart of her, a feeling that starts in pregnancy. As the attachment develops after birth, the mother continues to feel complete only when she is with her baby. When separated from her baby, she feels as if part of herself is missing. |
I underlined the part that I identified with the most.
With Kirby being my first and going through all those adjustments, being unsure of mothering skills and then dealing with all the problems with him not breastfeeding or sleeping, having reflux and then ultimately the autism I felt that way, but if I had read this book before Monkey I don’t think I would have identified with it so strongly.
I also don’t necessarily prefer to be around one over the other necessarily, it’s just a purely emotional connection that I now feel like I’m kind of missing with Kirby. It’s there, I mean we definitely connect, but not on the same level as with Em. I still know him very well and can tell what he needs practically instantaneously even with his communication difficulties. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain the feelings, isn’t it?